10st 5, brand new scales also broken, cigarettes 0, fantasy cigarettes smoked with Hugh Grant 9
09.00 a.m. Flushed cigarettes down loo. Cleaned loo, bath, sink and bidet. Need cigarette. I know, will go and clean kitchen window.
1.45 p.m. Must iron cerise two-piece ready for Alconbury’s Turkey Curry Buffet. What a bore, but C. does insist on going every year. Will just phone Una and check what colour she’s wearing.
1.49 p.m. Una wearing fuchsia despite draining effect on older skin. Will iron lemon dress and jacket instead of cerise. Plus Una reminded me appalling Darcys were coming. I did tell Bridget but was she listening? Will just phone and remind her about hideous afternoon when their horrid boy made her cry in paddling pool. And now he's divorced – always knew he’d come to no good.
4.15 p.m. Why is Bridget always so keen to get off the phone? I am her mother after all. Reminded her about ghastly Mark Darcy, she made impatient noises and said she had something on the hob. Reminded her he was divorced. Sure she wasn’t listening. I know, will get Colin to tell her. She always was a daddy’s girl.
Thursday 31 December 2009
Wednesday 30 December 2009
Tuesday 29 December 2009
10st 3 lbs scales must be broken. Christmas cards sent 257. Christmas cards received 255 (but gave cards to milkman and postman who can’t be expected to return the favour)
08.00 C. has ‘gone fishing.’ Demanded bacon and eggs at 4 bloody 30 a.m. and Thermos of hot coffee. Gave him cornflakes and he pulled a face exactly like a two year old about to have a tantrum. Went back to bed seething but couldn’t sleep so have just spent three hours checking Christmas cards against list and bringing list up to date for next year. 17 people have moved house since last Christmas and the Gawthorpes have moved to New Zealand to help their son run an outdoor adventure centre. Suggested move to C. on Boxing Day and he said ‘what for? Channel 5 reception is perfect here.’
08.00 C. has ‘gone fishing.’ Demanded bacon and eggs at 4 bloody 30 a.m. and Thermos of hot coffee. Gave him cornflakes and he pulled a face exactly like a two year old about to have a tantrum. Went back to bed seething but couldn’t sleep so have just spent three hours checking Christmas cards against list and bringing list up to date for next year. 17 people have moved house since last Christmas and the Gawthorpes have moved to New Zealand to help their son run an outdoor adventure centre. Suggested move to C. on Boxing Day and he said ‘what for? Channel 5 reception is perfect here.’
Monday 28 December 2009
10st 2 (post-Christmas, but still, not good) grey roots 0 fantasy cigarettes 0
1. 25 p.m. Spent all morning in the kitchen wrestling with Delia and produced a very creditable Thai Green Curry with Stir Fried Bamboo Shoots and Fluffy Rice. C. comes in from garden, hair full of lawn mowings (in December mark you) and says ‘I thought we were having turkey sandwiches and pickle?’ After lunch took 30 mins to scrape burnt bits out of wok and consoled self with fantasy in which Hugh Grant confesses he prefers older women.
1.30 p.m. Have just endured 20 minute phonecall from Sylvia boasting about profusion of grandchildren, all gifted to the point of genius and another one on the way possibly twins. Explained I was grateful to have healthy children who were enjoying their adult freedoms and building sound careers for themselves.
1.35 p.m. Why haven’t I got grandchildren? Why why why? Am totally inadequate mother children never phone and will be lonely old widow once C. pops clogs (any day now since refuses to give up cheese).
6 p.m. Just back from two blissful hours at Maison Kevin. Even the smell of a hairdressing salon is calming, and always enjoy a visit that does not entail touching in roots (had them done just before Christmas so photos would turn out nicely). Feel much better now, and will give C. his turkey sandwiches and pickle which he can eat in front of the snooker video he got for Christmas with a glass of beer. Will be perfect wife caring for grizzled husband taking well-earned retirement after lifetime of hard work.
1. 25 p.m. Spent all morning in the kitchen wrestling with Delia and produced a very creditable Thai Green Curry with Stir Fried Bamboo Shoots and Fluffy Rice. C. comes in from garden, hair full of lawn mowings (in December mark you) and says ‘I thought we were having turkey sandwiches and pickle?’ After lunch took 30 mins to scrape burnt bits out of wok and consoled self with fantasy in which Hugh Grant confesses he prefers older women.
1.30 p.m. Have just endured 20 minute phonecall from Sylvia boasting about profusion of grandchildren, all gifted to the point of genius and another one on the way possibly twins. Explained I was grateful to have healthy children who were enjoying their adult freedoms and building sound careers for themselves.
1.35 p.m. Why haven’t I got grandchildren? Why why why? Am totally inadequate mother children never phone and will be lonely old widow once C. pops clogs (any day now since refuses to give up cheese).
6 p.m. Just back from two blissful hours at Maison Kevin. Even the smell of a hairdressing salon is calming, and always enjoy a visit that does not entail touching in roots (had them done just before Christmas so photos would turn out nicely). Feel much better now, and will give C. his turkey sandwiches and pickle which he can eat in front of the snooker video he got for Christmas with a glass of beer. Will be perfect wife caring for grizzled husband taking well-earned retirement after lifetime of hard work.
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