Won’t weigh self today – book says weight obsession is function of patriarchy and not to be tolerated. Will compromise and cut down to once a week weighing.

19.33 Home alone all day. House is sparkling, laundry all done, kitchen back to rights. Opened freezer and found it still full of dinners I made for Colin to eat while I was away. Wept. Opened dustbin to dispose of kitchen rubbish and found it full of empty take away boxes. Threw kitchen rubbish at house in temper. House now has tomato sauce stain to left of kitchen door.

20.17 Braced myself and went into lounge to talk things through with C. Have spent all day rehearsing list of complaints – feel downtrodden, unloved, housework a bore, life no fun, Colin ignores me, no grandchildren, hate being old. At the end he said ‘but you know we can’t afford to run a second car’ and turned back to the TV.

20.19 Phoned Bridget. No answer.

20.21 Still no answer.

20.37 Still no answer. Will have a bath.

23.46 Finally got through to Bridget, who was crying because of something someone said at a dinner party. I said ‘you should count your…’ and she shouted ‘you never understand I’m going to phone Sharon’ and slammed the phone down.