66 (whatever that means – C has put new electronic scales back all wrong), text messages 17.

1.15 pm Lunching alone – Colin and Roderick have gone to Probus. Wives not allowed apparently. Phoned James last night, left several messages and he called me back when he was free (what a lamb). I told him sorry tale of new mobile phone, he said ‘oh ma, you are funny, I left that text on there to get you started.’ Apparently all that gobbledegook means ‘Hello mummy, welcome to the twentieth century, smiley face, great! See you later. James.’ I said ‘I’ll have to take your word for that James. How is er…?’ For the life of me I couldn’t remember the current girlfriend’s name. He just laughed again and said ‘must dash, bye.’ Anyway, will not be defeated by mobile phone, have got instruction book out and am reading it through Colin’s magnifying glass (hidden in his desk drawer, as he pretends he can see perfectly).

4.47 pm. Texting is easy! Looking through address book I saw almost everyone has a mobile. Why are we always the last for everything? Texted Una, Mavis, and Audrey to say Hi. Then texted them again to say It’s me, Pam, I sent the text that said Hi. Texted the Gawthorpes to say How’s life treating you in New Zealand. Texted Una and Audrey to say Have got new swimsuit for Albufeira. Gawthorpes texted back! And no gobbledegook, as plain as you like it said New Zealand not all it cracked up to be, no Radio 4 and nothing to compare with Waitrose, will be home in February. Mavis texted back to say Hi who are you? And then texted again Oh it was you Pam was it this is fun don’t you think? Must get more mobile phone numbers. Oh the joy of text!